There are some weird things going on here today. When I got up I was greeted by Hannah on the landing who was on her way to get a drink and I could hear talking and found Cam and Chris sat on his bed watching tv chatting - it's not just me that's mad being up at 3.30am it's rubbing off on the kids too.

There was quite a bit of progress yesterday, we get the keys to the house on Friday and are moving on Sunday, with the help of lots of family from Reading. Sadie (the best florist in Newport) is lending me her van for the weekend - she is a star! The lady that is buying the shop phoned last night and she is majorly excited about the whole thing and they are still pushing for an exchange of contracts tomorrow so they can come and have their first days training on Saturday - will she still be excited that early in the morning???

I don't seem to be getting anywhere with packing. I went to Staples and bought bubble wrap for Mike's china dogs last night. We have already chosen where they are going to go in the new house, but are really worried about transporting them. I can't believe when I look at some of the rubbish that Mike kept that he didn't keep the boxes that his dogs came in - we will probably discover them in a "safe place" as the packing progresses.

I went over to Willen to give them some bereavement books that I bought in case anyone else could get any use from them. It was good to see Sandy and Theresa again.

Cameron and I embarked on one of the biggest tasks last night. We decided that it would be a good idea if we emptied the loft (one of the lofts!) and started sorting stuff out, we have three categories - keep it, bin it and Willen shop, we had so much for the bin by 7.30 pm that we took a car full to the tip. Once again there was lots of "do you remember this?" I think we have made some progress, although when I went to bed I left Cam playing with a big box of lego, he insists that he wasn't playing and says that he was sorting it out because he is going to ask James and Imogen if they would like it.

Happy birthday Adam x

Yesterday was another busy day, more and more paper boys seem to be on holiday and it isn't helped by two of the lads that have been covering another round now coming in and saying they need two or three days off so i've got double to cover.

Hannah told Cam about an ex display TV that they had at Toys R Us and after Cam had asked 100's of technical questions about it to which Hannah knew very few of the answers we decided that he would go and look at it. He was very suprised that it was everything that he has been looking for and so is very impressed with his bargain - it was £699.00 and he got it for £250.

We then went looking at sofas, we now have the same problem with Cam that I used to have with Mike - what is comfortable for someone that is 6'2 and what is comfortable for someone that is 5'2 is very different. We have narrowed it down a bit though and have at least agreed on what we don't like.

I wish I could have a phase in my life when I don't spend the entire time worrying. I know that moving house is supposed to be one of the most stressful things that you do, but it seems a lot worse when there is the selling of a business involved too. It is obvioulsy made even worse by the fact that I am doing it alone, I miss Mike saying "don't worry everything will be ok", I spent twenty two years of beleiving that, but now shouldering 100% responsibility is probably the scariest thing that I have ever done.

Hannah decided that she would sort the sideboard out last night, we found lots of memories of Mike in there. We laughed when she kept discovering nail clippers, When Mike was on steroids his nails grew at an alarming rate and he seemed to be forever cutting them, but everytime he went to do it we could never find the nail clippers. I lost count of how many times we had to buy new ones and he would always say that he would keep them in a safe place, but as we all know his memory became increasingly worse and he could never remember where the safe place was - we have now discovered that it was in the sideboard.

Yesterday was a bit of an upsetting day. We were told when we applied to rent that we would not be allowed to have pets, we talked about it and over the last week have thought long and hard about what we could do but there really was no options. I put a photo of her in the shop window asking if anyone could give her a loving home. Yesterday a really nice couple who she instantly loved came in and they have re-homed her. I got upset, but am confident that she will be looked after there. Cam had made a good point that once we have moved and I am working she would have been on her own a lot of the time anyway which wouldn't have been fair either.

This afternoon is sleep time and then I think I will have to do a bit more cupboard clearing.

Yesterday was a stupidly busy day. After doing the round, printing the bills and doing the wages I went for a sleep for a couple of hours. When I got up at 10.30 Mel told me their was two telephone messages, the first was from the Business Transfer Agent, so I phoned him and he was just telling me that he had all the information that he needed from the buyers and everything was going ok. The second call was from the buyers, when I phoned them back they asked if they could come at 3 pm to measure for curtains etc - this meant that I had to dash about like an idiot clearing up for ages as everything was in a worse mess where we had been sorting cupboards out the night before. They were a bit late arriving and didn't leave until it was time to close.

I need to go to the wholesaler again this morning. I know that the fact that I have to go so often is good because it means we are selling the stock, which is the general idea in retail I suppose, but it seems like I am forever there at the moment.

I did manage to have a couple of hours sleep yesterday, but it was a bit of a waste of time because I have slept less than two hours in the night so am even more exhausted than when I started yesterday. However hard I tried I could not sleep, in the end I got up when Cam came home from work at 11.30 pm and watched tv with him until about 1.15 am, I suppose I must have gone to sleep at about 1.30 am, just in time for the alarm to go off at 3.30.

One of the reasons that I struggled last night may have been that I decided I needed to start sorting out some cupboards and drawers and I ended up going on a massive trip down memory lane. I found the flowers that were on the top of our wedding cake, the kids christening outfits, the 40th birthday card that Mike bought me, the Me to You bear that says "I miss you" on it which I found that he had put in my bag when I opened it when I was staying away at a hotel for work one night, the copy of The Times for the day that we took over the shop.... so I am not really that suprised that my mind was a little overactive. It was lots of mixed emotion, but many happy memories of twenty two happy years. I have added lots of things to my memory box now.