Mike was quite sleepy yesterday, he got up for half an hour at lunch time and about an hour and a half to have dinner and speak to his mum on the phone. I went to pick Hannah up from work at
8 pm and when I got back he was back in bed asleep again (Cam said he had gone the minute I went out the door). I had to wake him for medication, which he took and went straight back to sleep.

Liz from Willen is coming today, we haven't seen her for a while. Mike has been quite stable and i've been coping with everything ok. I am a bit relieved that she is coming today so we can speak to her about the problems he is having with his hand, although it is not happening all the time and sometimes if I ask him about it he has forgotten that he has had a problem with it. I have also noticed that he is really forgetfull at the moment - He keeps asking the same questions, if I say "I told you that" he complains that no one tells him anything, so it is easier just to continue answering the questions like it is the first time you have been asked.

Summer better be here to stay for a while, i've got a massive ice cream order arriving today, which I have put off for a few weeks in case the shop flooded, hopefully that problem has passed now.

I went to carers yesterday, it was really nice weather so we all sat outside. It is a lovely setting at Willen Hospice, no one wants to be attached to a hospice but we do count ourselves lucky that we have such a nice one.

The three wise monkeys????

Adam, Cam & Jim

Mark & Did

All the cousins

I really like this picture
Cousins from both sides
of Nicky & Adams family
(3 missing)

Mark& Did's cake

I was really impressed
with the cake - with a
wedding picture on it.

Mike was not too good yesterday, I don't know if he is suffering from too much partying or whether he is getting the dreaded cold too. He had oxygen last night for the first time in a while and slept all day and the majority of the evening. He has also complained about his hand being painful, but he said that was better last night - I will keep a close eye on him today.

Cameron has got up to help with the papers again today which makes a real difference as he does all the heavy lifting. I am full of cold this morning and have written a list of essential jobs today, one of which is to sleep for a very long time. A couple of lads are back from holiday, but two more go today and i've still got one sick, so i'll be out delivering papers this morning.

We had a good time in Reading yesterday, it was nice to see everyone and catch up. Once again Nicky has been the official photographer and so she will send me pictures and I will blog them when they arrive.

Mike slept until 2.30 pm and was very alert for the journey and the party. I often wonder if people have noticed a difference in him when they haven't seen him for a long time. Seeing him every day we just adapt to the litle things that change and although he is obviously very different to how he was pre diagnosis I don't see changes like people that haven't seen him for a while.

I am suffering from a serious lack of sleep - Ingrid worked yesterday afternoon so that I would be able to sleep, but time ran away yesterday and I only managed to get 40 minutes. Last night when I got into bed and set the alarm it said I had 3 hours 58 minutes - even I can't survive on that. Thankfully being Sunday we close at lunch time I will go straight back to bed.

Congratulations to Ingrid and Bill on your Ruby Wedding Anniversary today x x

I'm a bit late blogging this morning. I had eight delivery staff off this morning with holidays and sickness so have been out delivering myself today.

Mike seems to avoided the cough and cold so far. I will be amazed if he doesn't catch it as Cam and I seem to be coughing constantly - maybe all of Mike's other drugs will keep it away.

I am trying to get organised to go to Reading this evening, I need to write a list even to be out for a few hours - we will be out when Mike needs medication t and if I don't write things down they don't seem to happen any more. Hannah is working until three so I need to pick her up too, not that she would let me forget that, she would be on the phone moaning in no time.

It's Friday again already. We have had quite a good week this week, Mike has been awake much more than he has been lately. I have noticed that it is getting even harder to reason with him - if he wants something he wants it now and it is almost impossible to change his mind, but other than that he has been on really good form.

We are looking forward to going to Reading tomorrow night, although I am already panicking about when I might get to sleep between then and now. I try to convince myself that if I don't think about sleep I don't need it, but I do reach a point that I have to stop. I have told all three of them that they are not allowed to sleep in the car on the way home, they have to keep talking to me so I stay awake.

Cameron applied for his provisional driving licence yesterday, another landmark and another reason for me to feel old - although it would be good if we had another driver in this family. I have made firm rules that he needs to get a job and save for a car though because he won't be driving mine.

Mike went to day hospice yesterday, he was much more positive when he came home than he had been last week. He only slept for a couple of hours and then got up and had dinner with us which is unusual for a Wednesday as he is normally exhausted.

We had a bit of a disaster last night when Mike came to bed, he fell as he came in the bedroom door and knocked lots of stuff off the dressing table, I woke up obviously concerned about what had happened and whether he was hurt but he just kept apologising for knocking stuff over, nothing got broken (apart from my sleep!) We still don't know why he fell or what actually happened but he seemed fine afterwards.

I have woken up this morning with a very sore throat and can't decide whether I am hot or cold - I suppose it had to happen with Cameron coughing all over us for the past few days, I just hope Mike avoids it.

Mike slept most of the day yesterday but came with me to meet Hannah from work and go to Asda (what an exciting life he leads).

Cameron has got a dreadful cough that has kept us all awake most of the night, in the end Mike and Cameron swapped beds - Mike has been unusually worried about him and Mike said he didn't want him left on his own so he made him sleep in our bed (I am not sure if Mike has forgotten that Cam is almost 17!) When Cam's cough first started developing a couple of days ago my aim was to keep him away from Mike so he didn't catch it, but Mike has been fussing over him so much that I will be amazed if he doesn't.

Mike is going to day hospice today and my intention is to catch up on some sleep. I have done far too much partying last week, then been awake with Cam last night, and we have Mark and Did's party on Saturday night with a very early start on the big papers on Sunday morning.

Do you think Camilla was suprised to see Mike?

Camilla & Mike

Mike slept all day until 8.45 pm yesterday. We only had about half an hour together before I went to bed. When he woke up he didn't know what day or time of day it was and then got frustrated with himself that he had slept so long. He did say that he had attempted to wake up a few times but was just exhausted. (I am not suprised, he had 3 very busy days last week!)

I went to carers yesterday, there was only a couple of us there, although it is nice to have a cup of tea made for you and a never ending supply of cake it is difficult to get any support from there at the moment. I have agreed to make a leaflet showing peole how to set up a blog as my blog has been so theraputic for me it may help others.

Happy Silver Wedding Anniversary to Mark and Did - Was I really only 16 when I was your bridesmaid? x x

Mike had a happy and thankfully dry birthday yesterday. We are still ready with our sandbags! Brenda sent me an email with a link to pictures of Reading flooding and it looks pretty bad there too. Cam (and Elliott) have stayed up all night on "flood watch", but thankfully there has been no problems here so far.

Mike intends to sleep all day to catch up on his busy weekend, I don't know when I am going to get to sleep this week but I need to do some catching up because we are out partying again this Saturday night - It is my brother and sister in laws silver wedding anniversary tomorrow and they are having a garden party at the weekend. - I hope the weather improves before then.

I've got up this morning to a letter on the doormat advising us that there is a severe risk of flooding today telling us where we need to evacuate to and what we should take with us. Julie was later arriving to do her round this morning because she couldn't get through flooded roads in Sherington and Lathbury and had to take a much longer route. I have checked the weather on the internet which says it is going to rain all day, but at the moment the sun is attempting to shine.

It's Mike's birthday today, he was awake when I got up and seems to be a bit excited about the whole thing. Hannah, Cam and I gave him his presents last night because he will probably sleep this morning because we have got more visitors coming this afternoon.

Happy Birthday Mike and thank you for just being you. Love you x x

As expected Mike slept all day yesterday, only waking up for meals and medication. As a result of this he then had a very restless night - he woke me up asking if Hannah was home? Was the alarm on? What time did she get home? Did you hear her come home? I have no problem with our night time chats if they are when he really needs someone to speak to and a shoulder to cry on, but I was watching the clock last night panicking that I didn't have long before I had to get up with no chance of a day time sleep in sight.

I need to go shopping this morning, we have got family visiting both today and tomorrow for Mike's birthday and I am not very organised at all.

I have got my sandbags at the ready today, Lakes Lane and Silver Street are on flood alert and we don't want to be caught out.

I am exhausted this morning, I feel like I haven't been to bed - actually I only had four hours sleep last night and am beginning to wonder whether I would have been better if I hadn't gone to bed at all.

We went to Newbury last night to a suprise party for Camilla who used to work with Mike and she is now leaving Highfield too. Mike has been quite well (if you can say that if you've got a brain tumour) and we decided that we were going to go. He was really disappointed that he was not well enough to go to Sherilyn and Mike's wedding in December and so it was really good that we managed to catch up with so many people last night. It brought back lots of good memories of some really wild parties that we went to during Mike's time at Highfield.

I spoke to lots of people who read this blog daily - it always suprises me as when I write it I never imagine an audience I just say it how it really is and what i'm really feeling. I hope that someone that was at the party last night will be able to email some photos so they can be blogged to the world!

We had decided that we would take a slow drive to Newbury and stopped off at a Holiday Inn for coffee and cake on the way - I thought that it ws really nice to sit and chat and give each other 100% attention, when we were driving home Mike said how much he had enjoyed it too and we have decided that we are going to make an effort to go out for an undisturbed coffee once a week together. (I found it quite amusing, it was a bit like making a date with the person that I have been married to for almost 20 years - but Mike thrives on having things to look forward to so we are going to do it, it also made me think how the Mike of 20 years ago has changed recently).

Mike went to day hospice yesterday, when I dropped him off I felt that it had a really depressing feel about it. (although Willen is a hospice and understandably should be a sad place there is usually a jolly atmosphere). Mike obviously felt the same because when I went back to pick him up he said "come on lets get out of here" where as usually I struggle to stop him chatting to get him to come home. When he got home he went straight to bed and slept for hours, I think I wore him out at the wholesalers the day before.

I went up the city last night, Gill rang me when I was there and said that she was twenty minutes away and was going to call in for a coffee, so she met me for coffee up the city instead - it was lovely to sit down and escape from everything for a while.

Mike had a really good day yesterday. He decided that he wanted to go out, I was really busy and the best thing that I could offer him was a trip to the wholesalers. It was quite successful, it probably took three times as long because there was so much stuff that Mike hadn't seen before and the fact that every since he has been ill he has had an obsession for everything being straight and symetrical so he kept rearranging the boxes on the trolley - it was driving me mad but I just continued to tell him how pleased I was that he was well enough to come with me. When we got home he went straight to bed and slept for hours, if only I could have done the same ........

I don't know why but I got myself in a state about his birthday last night. I want it to be so nice for him but I am rapidly running out of time and energy this week. I am not really sure who is coming to visit when and what I should be doing - I suppose I will muddle through, I have managed the last thirteen months after all...

Mike slept all day yesterday and as a result we had a pretty restless night. He decided that he was going to come to bed reasonably early because we wanted to try to get back into the being awake in the day routine, but he wasn't at all tired (not suprisingly, he had slept about 18 hours with the exception of being woken up for food and medication). He was very chatty, if only I could get him to get up and chat like that during the day.

I am going to attempt to get Cameron motivated to look for a part time job today (he doesn't want to work for me!) Yesterday he was just getting out of bed when I left to go to carers at 2 pm - I don't have a problem with getting up at 3.30 am, but I get really wound up when the kids stay in bed most of the day, I had done ten and a half hours work before he surfaced.

Mike had a really good day yesterday - a bit of sea air obviously does him good. He was awake much more than he had been prior to our holiday and is in pretty good spirits. I think he might be getting a bit excited about the fact that it is his birthday on Sunday, but he says he has every right to because he didn't think he was going to have one. It's a fair comment, we try hard not to celebrate things like it may be the last time we are going to do them so I will spoil him (I think I do that every day!?!) without making it obvious.

I am so back in work routine that our holiday is a distant memory, apart from the fact that my shoulders are beginning to peel and that I have even more washing than normal.

Not exactly Wimbledon!

Hannah's Birthday

Am I shrinking or is Mike getting taller?

Cam with his blonde hair (no it wasn't the sun that bleached it!)

Mike & Hannah

Hannah's 19th Birthday

We're back!!

We had a good week away and were very lucky with the weather (Christine and Howard's sunshine dance must have worked). Mike has been on really good form, he's been awake a lot of the time and done a lot of the things that he wanted to do - walk on the beach, paddle in the sea etc. We went out on Friday night to celebrate Hannah's 19th birthday - I feel really old thinking that I have kids that old. There will be photo's but I have not got around to sorting them yet.

I don't feel like I have been away now that I have been up at 3.30 am (when we were away I slept 11 hours a night for the first three nights - heaven!) We came home to everything really tidy and clean, thanks Jean and Eddie for staying and for all your help with the business and all the jobs you have done around the place. Thanks to all the staff that did extra hours and jobs to make our holiday possible too.

Mike is not suprisingly very tired this morning and I expect that he will sleep for several days now...

Mike had a really good day yesterday. He slept all morning but got up for lunch and then got dressed and walked up to the bank with me in the afternoon - it took forever, not because his walking was particularly bad, but because we saw so many people we know that hadn't seen him for so long - he even had a customer kissing him on the crossing!

I have got loads to do today, starting with 2 paper rounds - The kids have been read the riot act about the need for them to help today and that friends of all sorts are banned from coming round messing the place up.

So we are off on our long awaited holiday tomorrow morning, seven days of staying in bed until I wake up not when the alarm decides, seven days of no phones, seven days of our own hot tub and sauna, seven days of "quality family time"? - the down side of course, seven days of no blog, but i'll catch up when we get back and i'm sure there will be photos too.

Mike went to day hospice yesterday - I did have to laugh that when I went to fetch him the nurses said he had been asleep in the chair "you wouldn't believe how he snores" - I reminded them that I sleep (or try to sleep) beside him and know exactly how loud he snores.

I spent most of yesterday catching up on admin and sorting things from my list. I did manage to get a couple of hours sleep that then gave me the energy to spend a couple of hours doing housework while Mike slept in the evening.

Mike had a good day yesterday, he was awake all afternoon and evening which meant that we had a reasonably good night too. He spoke to Emma on the phone and caught up with all the Highfield gossip so he was quite chatty in the evening filling me in on what has been going on.

The phlabotomist is coming this morning, she only has to come once every four weeks now instead of weekly which means that three out of four Wednesday mornings are much more relaxed getting ready to go to day hospice, but today is the one where everything happens at once.

I feel I am running out of time before our holiday, I have so many jobs I would like to do before we go but am getting to a stage that I am beating myself up about the ones I haven't done so I have decided I am going to edit my list today.

Another sleepless night in the Kerr household. Mike was quite restless again last night but very apologetic that he was waking me up all the time. I know that he has big issues about being alone lying awake in the dark so we chatted about utter rubbish just so he had some company. I had been to Tesco with Hannah in the evening and he was asking me what I had bought, in my mind I was thinking not getting back from Tesco until 9.15 pm was bad enough let alone having to relive the experience in the middle of the night.

I went to carers yesterday and chatted to Christine, her husband has a similar tumor to Mike and it is very comforting to know that their experiences are so like ours. Obviously it is also very comforting to spend a couple of hours being fed tea and cakes.

Cameron seemed to really like the first day of the sixth form induction which is a bit of a releif, he came home asking for £230 for a geography field trip that he is going on so he obviously intends to go back.

We have had a very restless night - I actually lost count how many times I have been woken up. The first time Mike woke me was to put cream on his back, it is still quite sore and I may speak to the dr about it again. He then woke me up because Hannah wasn't home, then woke me up again to tell me that she was now home, but had a friend with her. I was then woken up again because Mike couldn't remember which subjects Cam had opted to do in sixth form. I was having a "sensible" conversation with him but all the time I was thinking I have got to get up in three hours time.

Cameron starts his sixth form induction today, this is obviously why it was on Mike's mind because we had been talking about it yesterday. Cam is really nervous about it, but I hope I have managed to convince him that he needs to do it.

I have been writing even more lists this morning, I am trying to make sure that I have got enough stock to last when we are away. I'll need a holiday when this week is over..

Mike slept quite a bit yesterday, though not as much as a "normal" Saturday. His speech was very good, recently he has ben struggling to remember words but didn't seem to have any problems yesterday.

Gill and Pete came with yummy food as promised. We had pasta followed by syrup sponge and custard (Mike's favourite pudding!) Gill has offered to come up next weekend to help with the Sunday papers while we are away.

We are all really looking forward to our holiday. Hannah is doing a countdown on the white board in the kitchen and I feel really quite relaxed that at this time next week I will still be in my bed (although it takes a few days to get out of the routine of getting up). Although we have no control over Mike's sleeping he has already said that he is going to make sure he is awake during the day and going to enjoy it.